


The Harem of Delia Ketchum

by Jeenius_the_Dork



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Multi, WHY ARE THERE TAGS FOR ASH/PROFESSOR OAK, WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE TAGS FOR MR.MIME/DELIA KETCHUM, end my fucking life, i want to die, just end the misery, more importantly, please, so badly, what the fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:51:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16901310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeenius_the_Dork/pseuds/Jeenius_the_Dork
Summary: A direct response to Can_o_tuna_Balism's fic.





	The Harem of Delia Ketchum

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Can_o_tuna_balism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Can_o_tuna_balism/gifts).



> Merry Holidays. Please recite this at my funeral.

Ash was completely beyond speechless. His mother and a Pokemon? How? Why?

 

Pikachu donned a detective hat and held a walkie-talkie up to him. “Get the paddy-wagon.” he said into the walkie-talkie, sounding like some Canadian actor who hates 90% f the roles he gets put in.

 

Suddenly the door to the Ketchum residence burst open to the beat of the DK rap. Professor Oak stood at the threshold wearing nothing but his lab coat and an oak leaf in front of his Caterpeepee. A stronk wind blew the lab coat around giving it the impression of a majestic cape.

  
[OWO wat's dis?](https://imgur.com/a/BjO9RUM)   
  
  


A bright light filled the room. When it subsided Pikachu was gone. Out of this plane of existence. In a better place. Professor Oak was trying to subtly hide the freeze gun in his lab coat however without any pockets there was nowhere to hide it. Instead he threw the gun behind him and never thought of it again.

 

“Holy shit it’s me Professor Oak. Here to steal some pussy and whatever Pokemon have.” Professor Oak declared, marching into the house with the grace of Rap Monster trying to dance in Weekly Idol.

 

“Professor I’m so happy you could come.” Delia said, clapping her hands together.

 

“Professor Oak why are you naked? Or with your family?” Ash asked.

 

“Hahaha, my boy you’re gravely mistaken. I am with my family. Fuck FartAss or whatever my useless grandson’s name is.” Professor Oak said doing the physical embodiment of sliding into someone’s DMs. In this case, Ash’s mom’s.

 

“SGKBVJ!!” Mr Mime shouted. It began violently hip thrusting towards its woman and the professor. One might say it  was feeling rather Rhyhorny at the moment.

 

“We’re related? Does that make Gary my brother?” Ash asked. Question marks danced over his head.

[wow](https://imgur.com/a/VqxDmf1)   
  


“No Ash.” said Delia.

 

“GEIHDR.” (You’re Gary’s Uncle.) Mr.Mine finished.

 

“As well as Mr.Mime’s son.” the professor said.

 

“But...but there’s three of you. And professor you’re like 200 years old.” Ash protested.

 

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” the professor said, placing a finger over Ash’s mouth, leaning in closely. 

 

A grey cloud of dust over took Ash and he began to feel Drowsey. “Only dreams now.” the professor whispered.

 

The effects of the Sleep Powder overtook Ash almost immediately. The last thing he saw before the darkness took over him was the professor’s maniacal smile as the old man patted his head. “Only dreams now.”

 

-

 

Meanwhile Gary sat in the Pokemon Tower in front of a gravestone pouting. His entourage had left him to fend for himself as it poured outdoors. He turned around to look at the gravestone, finding it belonged to some assMunchlax named Blue’s Raticate.

 

Gary pulled out his PokeGear and attempted to call his Grandfather. To no one’s surprise it went straight to voicemail.

 

“Ey it’s ya boy Professor Oak. I’m too busy getting the good puss right now to answer your call. Leave a message after the-” a loud moan that vaguely sounded like a Mr Mime and a woman interrupt him. “Unless you’re my bitchass grandson. Then don’t leave a message at all.”

 

A loud beep rang through Gary’s ear signaling to start the message. “Hey Gramps it’s me again. Daisy’s friends abandoned me in a haunted graveyard and won’t pick me up. Can you convince them to come back? I think I’m starting to mesh into other realities and it’s scaring me. Also why don’t you-” another beep indicated his message was too long.

 

He put the PokeGear on the ground dejected. “Why don’t you love me Gramps?”


End file.
